The first passage was very well constructed and contained many good elements. The diction that it used contributed to the imagery, which, made the passage more interesting. It also gave the reader a better picture of what was happening in the story at that time. This passage was, in my opinion, better than the passage. I say this because the word choice was better, and it used more imagery, therefore making it easier to read and understand.
Though the second passage was not as descriptive, it did still give some insight to the passage and give the reader a picture of the scene. It described a scene in upper part of the house where it was dark, gloomy, and cold. It gives the reader a more depressing, or sad mindset, rather than a cheery, happy one.
This is absolutely not an effective close reading. There are no direct references to anything specific about either passage. You could be writing about the phone book for all I know.
ReplyDeleteClose reading REQUIRES that you give specifics. You need to explain how the language of the passage contributes to the overall meaning of the short story as well as the overall mood and tone of the passage itself. Since you should be looking at the language, quotations from the passage are essential.